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Andronicos "The Great" as Director of the Human Race and Manager Planet Earth commands and Andronicos "The Cynic" responds as follows.........
11.0 Miscellaneous matters11.10 The Global Charity register (Internet links)There are many, many charities and their volunteers which I would like to mention but cannot do so here due to available space in this book. But I must mention Amnesty International and UNICEF and of course the two sister charities that stand out in a league of their own, which I do honour: The International Red Cross and International Red Crescent. Support them. But I also want to honour two philanthropists famous for chocolate:
Joseph Rowntree (1836-1925) who bequeathed 3 trusts to help the underprivileged, and Milton Hershey (1857-1945) whose chocolate is World famous to this day. What is not commonly known is that he left his fortune to the creation of the 10,000 acre Hershey Industrial School (now called Milton School), which even now provides education to 1100 underprivileged children. To this day, the school is funded by its shares in Hershey Foods. I direct everyone to go and buy lots of Hershey chocolate - even if it is for someone else. In the not too distant future there will be no more need for charities that provide for the destitute, starving, homeless or war refugees. Such charities will eventually be replaced by new ones that help those that are not as fortunate as the rest of the local community, yet not as badly off as the days of pre-civilisation prior to 1 ACH. I predict the day will come when only losers are unlucky enough to live in the type of idyllic house the gifted artist Thomas Kinkade is famous for painting. Until this happens, I commend everyone who currently regularly gives their time or money to charitable causes. Using the Internet link www.12-12-12.org/11.10 you will eventually be able to connect to reputable charities' websites. Don’t forget that a lot of the corporate donations from public companies will be reduced because of War Bond funding, so help fill in the gap, especially if you are a kind hearted individual or magnanimous private company. Avoid contributing to audited charities that spend more than approximately 10% on administration costs or that do not disclose on the Internet how much is spent on administration. Don't forget, every hour spent volunteering for a non-political, non-religious charity, counts towards your Family Community Support Card tally. 11.20 Space exploration guidelines
I will be publishing my instructions shortly. Until war is eradicated and extreme poverty is no more, I forbid expensive manned space flights to other planets. Until such lessons are learned, it would be inappropriate to ruin yet another human dwelling place.
11.30 Space junk
With immediate effect, I direct Sovereign tribes to cease and desist from leaving Earth's rubbish floating around in space. Giant cosmic floaters are dangerous to future human space travellers, let alone the people down below. Keep them off my Planet. Everyone will feel rather stupid if the technology to safely travel at super speeds between Earth and Mars are hampered by man made near Earth objects. It's a bit like taking a supersonic transatlantic flight to New York and then spending 12 hours in the back of a Cab meandering between burnt out cars and leaking chemical trucks in an attempt to drive to downtown Manhattan.
11.40 ‘Global Junk mail internet master list’ registerSave trees. Save postage costs. Save time reading or sorting through personal or corporate mail. Save money. Get on www.12-12-12.org/11.40 and link to the online junk mail register for your region. If you do this today, you will make the aforementioned savings within weeks. I direct all reputable companies that use direct mail to register as of today. Instructions on how the system will work can be found on the above Internet link and it's practically free of charge. 11.50 InventionsIf you have a revolutionary ethical invention or patent to benefit the human race, I want to know about it. If you have an ethical invention or patent you wish to make money out of then use the www.12-12-12.org/11.50 links for guidance. Think twice before signing any confidentiality contract with a major corporation or parting with any money to a so-called "advisor" until you have accessed the website. Top Home All Bottom11.60 Animal rights vs. rights of all living creaturesThe human race has jurisdiction over all animals. With this privilege comes responsibility. If someone is a vegetarian - be tolerant of their wishes. It works both ways. Animal rights activists have done very well in bringing to the attention of the masses some pretty nasty things done to animals in the name of science. Without their help, many of the safeguards and legislation would not be in force today. Nevertheless, I do not condone violent acts by these people and furthermore forbid it. The question of animal experiments is highly controversial. Here are my directives on animal experiments: (1) Human beings' health is the priority, but licensed pain inflicting experiments should only be carried out when there is no alternative. (2) Animal rights activists must be represented on licensing panels. (3) Animals that will be subjected to experimentation should be given a quality of life beyond that of a normal "spoilt pet" for as long as possible and whenever possible before experimentation is started. This is the animal equivalent of "you can do everything that makes you happy as a human, live in a palace, food, sex, etc, etc… but at 50 you will be put to death in uncomfortable circumstances for the benefit of all your family." (4) In certain situations, use criminal volunteers as an alternative, as long as the experimentation is non-life threatening. (5) I forbid animal experiments for cosmetic product testing. (6) Animals bred for organ transplants could one day end the need for human donors. (7) I direct that 12 eminent people, cautious, incorruptible, experts in their field, highly respectable and paragons of ethical virtue be appointed trustees of issuing global guidelines on these matters. Deliberation must take place in public. Let them act as advisors, binding arbitrators on some matters and the conscience between Sovereign tribes. I commend organisations such as the RSPCA and Humane Society of America for their role in protecting animals, preventing cruelty and prosecuting offenders. I direct everyone supports such organisations.
11.60.10 Cock fighting, dog fighting, fox hunting, bear batingI forbid cock fighting, bear bating and dog fighting. Local communities should castigate those that organise such events, and where possible prosecute the ring leaders in competent courts. I will tolerate the ritual killing of an animal in the name of sport as long as - (1) The animal is vermin, a danger to others, or is going to be used for food or clothing. (2) The animal is not part of an endangered species. (3) The animal does not suffer unnecessary pain. (4) Such silly sports remain quarantined on planet Earth. If a bunch of people dressed up in brightly coloured clothes, funny hats and while blowing horns wish to chase a fox on horseback - let them do so. But they should make sure a device is fitted that instantly kills the fox seconds before the dogs tear it apart. Perhaps someone can invent such a device for use by the aforementioned twits (that cannot accidentally hurt children). In fact I've changed my mind halfway through compiling this book. Ban the sport altogether. It's dumb. Future generations in the not too distant future will come to the conclusion that inflicting pain on a bull in the name of sport is the equivalent of what this generation thinks of cruel Roman gladiatorial fights. Earth's future children wherever they live in the Universe will look back and scratch their heads in wonder at these "ancient" bloodthirsty rituals in the name of fun. Top Home All Bottom11.60.20 Humane animal slaughter housesI commend Temple Grandin an autistic individual who has now become a professor and World expert in humane animal slaughter houses. I direct her research be studied by all who take part in the necessary mass slaughter of animals for food. This lady's processes are used throughout North America. It should be noted that if it wasn't for her particular autistic need to feel secure in a cramped but controlled environment, Temple would not have had the experience nor been able to help animals avoid fear prior to death. 11.60.30 Dog Food
Finally, without adding more controversy than is necessary on the subject of animals being used for food, did you know there are specialised pet stores which have a special "doggy treat" counter? It allows the owner of that special pet to buy little customised hand made cakes for their dog. When I see this it makes my blood boil. Why don't they rename their dogs to foodie names such as "Protein", "Meatmunch" or "Burger", convert their pooches into dog steaks and ship them in freezer packs to destitute humans who have no objection to real hot dogs? (Refer to 11.170 Dogs, for more information). 11.70 Antiquities: swappingI direct every Sovereign tribe that has a museum swaps or lends at least twelve items with two other Sovereign tribal states in the next 2 years. 11.70.10 Elgin Marbles
I request the Sovereign tribes of Britain lend the Elgin Marbles to the Sovereign tribes of Greece for an initial duration of 12 years. In return no one in possession of a valid tribal British passport be charged for an entrance fee to view the site known as the Acropolis. Furthermore, while visiting the site, a small gift of Greek produce be given as a thank you by Greek children to every child from the tribes of Britain that visits the Acropolis.
11.80 Whole World access to the Internet: A Global projectI want the whole World Internet enabled as soon as possible so that as many people as possible can take part in the 12-12-12 initiative. If you have spare computers that are Internet enabled, which you wish to dispose of, give them to me. Follow the links on www.12-12-12.org/11.80. I direct appropriately configured old PCs be recycled and shipped to poorer tribes, and software licensing copyright laws be adapted forthwith to allow this. 11.90 The Clockwork Radio
Such radios are invaluable during times of emergency. 11.100 Divorce and SeparationAs an expert on this matter I direct the following guidelines: Couples who permanently cannot agree to disagree even with the help of invited third party advisors are better off living apart. Squabbling over money during separation, often fuelled by fee earning lawyers is to be avoided. I want legally trained licensed arbitrators to deal with these matters quickly and cheaply. The couples can then divorce or separate with dignity and who knows - maybe reconcile and get back together again in future. To give more than a prenuptial agreement promises or legally obliged to share is a loving act to end a relationship with. Children should never be treated as a long term meal ticket just because the children's mental and material welfare is of paramount importance. For those married to more than one wife at the same time who wish to divorce one of the wives (or visa versa) it gets very complicated and not within the scope of this book. For those married to several husbands at the same time, I strongly advise urgent psychiatric help for any woman in this unfortunate position. For unbiased help on divorce matters refer to the www.12-12-12.org/11.100 website. Top Home All Bottom11.110 Prenuptial agreements and Wills prior to marriageI direct that all couples that intend to live together (whether by formal marriage or not) for more than one year, should undertake three things as soon as possible:
Go to www.12-12-12.org/11.110 for examples. Do it soon. 11.120 Andronicos "The Great" apology re any offence this book causedIf due to some reason anything written in this book has caused offence to your spiritual or religious beliefs I hereby apologise. Even though I am your Director and the Manager of Planet Earth, I am still answerable to the masses. On the other hand, any other statement or utterance that may have caused offence specifically to large corporations, certain politicians or senior civil servants is neither retracted nor withdrawn. If I get the chance to publicly repeat it whether verbally or in writing, I will do so until the aforementioned twits help me to eradicate war and extreme poverty.
11.130 Directions for those Andronicos "The Great" orders to ‘Get Off My Planet'You are fortunate because the expression is symbolic and not literal. I do not condone violence against you, but will shame you. If you die before making right the wrongs you have caused I will ensure your name will remain for all to see in a document of shame. One day, future generations, wherever they may live in the universe, will judge you. Perhaps even to your very face. Top Home All Bottom11.140 Intentionally left blankThis page has been temporarily removed for subjudice reasons. A TV documentry is being produced relating to this matter. 11.150 The New Civil Calendar December 22, 2012 (01/01/01 ACH):
I have decided to merge ALL the civil calendars of the World into a new Global one. Of course, religious calendars based on lunar cycles will continue for those who wish to use them while the moon as we know it exists. I direct businesses to start planning now for the 1 ACH computer bug. The date December 22nd 2012 will be replaced with the date "1st of ………….. in the year 01" and be written 01/01/01 dd/mm/yy format. "A C H" stands for "Anno Concordia Humanus" which in Latin means "in the year the human race became civilised".
Effective at one second past midnight on December 22nd 20121, the new civil calendar celebrating Global Peace and security will be born. It will mark several days of celebrations starting from
From 1 ACH all months will be 30 days in length with the exception of the 12th month every year, which will be 35. Leap years will cease as you know them. They will be replaced with a 3 day leap year every twelve years, starting in 12 ACH (2025 CE). Special events, celebrations and festivals will take place throughout the universe every time Earth has a leap year in future. As a sign of observance by the manufacturers of "western" diaries, I direct all diaries from 2003 to start on December 12th and end on December 31st. The extra 20 days will cost hardly anything to manufacture or store. So do it . Why have I chosen December 22nd and not December 12th to either mark the end or start of the new year? Well, it's not for religious "sun" worship purposes. I'm happy when it's a sunny day, but I don't worship astronomical phenomenon such as stars. Neither is it as a sign of acceptance to the Mayan belief that the end of the 5th Age (or epoch) will occur sometime between December 21 2012 and December 23 2012. No, it's because I am a neat, organised sort of person and want the winter/summer solstice to mark planetary year boundaries regardless of planet. It's much more tidy to use a cosmic standard.2 (Here's an interesting coincidence for those who like this sort of thing. Compare Mayan Chronology with Biblical Chronology. Note the death of the first man Adam is in the same (all inclusive) year as the start of the Mayan 5th Epoch) I have also decided that the new calendar will replace all references to egotistical Roman Emperors and tribal "Gods" by renaming all the months. I have already decided the new naming convention but am still open to suggestions. (Interesting external resources about the Mayan calendar relating to the year 2012 can be found here) 1 Hebrew year: 5773 Islamic year: 1433 2 The solstice marks the shortest day of the year in the northern hemisphere and the longest day in the southern one. 11.160 Global Standards to eventually be adoptedI direct a number of global standards be adopted as soon as practically possible, but before 12 ACH - 11.160.10 Daily Earth time: New decimal systemI direct that a new global decimal system for keeping daily Earth time be adopted, as follows -
1 new second will equal 86.4% of an existing second Start designing new watches soon. 11.160.20 Metric System: Adopt worldwideI direct the metric system to be in place worldwide. Nevertheless, if greengrocers wish to use the old system, and so do their local customers - let it be. 11.160.30 Automobiles: A global standard
I direct that every tribe should ensure all their vehicles drive on the RIGHT. I direct this is planned for when smart technology can automatically stop a vehicle from being accidentally driven on the wrong side of the road. To start the project, I would like certain Greek Cypriot drivers to make their minds up NOW as to which side of the road they are supposed to be on. 11.160.40 Electricity: Common worldwide voltage and output
I direct that every tribe has the same electricity output (120 AC) and the same shape plug sockets, worldwide. 11.160.50 Telephone Jacks: Common standard
I direct that every tribe has the same telephone jacks worldwide. Top Home All Bottom11.160.60 Road signs: The same symbols wherever you driveI direct that a common standard for road signs be adopted worldwide. Clearly there will be regional variations such as "beware of Elephants crossing". This is fine. 11.160.70 Daylight saving timeFor goodness sake, I direct all Sovereign tribes that utilise daylight saving time, to change their clocks on the same day from now on. Don't wait more than 2 years for this little step in the direction of global standardisation. If there's any arguments I'll decide on the date. 11.170 Dogs
Don't take my directive in 11.60.30 literally. I actually like dogs (as pets not food), but rank fellow Human Beings higher up in the food chain compared to animals, whether cute or otherwise.
End of Section 11:
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